How to Have Sex
How To Please Your Woman, The Ultimate Sex Guide For Men Looking For SexTips, Sex Positions,
And A Reliable Sex Guide
Table of Contents
Sex and agony
The truth about sex
Women will never tell you how bad you are in bed
The power of foreplay
Secret sex weapon one
Secret sex weapon two
Secret sex weapon three
What women aren’t telling you
The key to penetration
You need to know about this
The correct way to penetrate You will most likely have an orgasm before her
Stick to these sex positions
Mistakes to avoid
About the author
“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”
— Marilyn Monroe
Sex and agony
My agony had begun ever since I lost my virginity. I had met a woman in a bar and some how managed to make her like me. Alcohol definitely gave me the extra confidence needed; I couldn’t even remember what I had said to her, but it worked. It worked because when the bar’s lights went off, and the many elled, “It’s time to head on home, folks!” she grabbed my hand and said she had cool art to show me back at her place. She also mentioned that she was moving away, so the flat was free.
I was young. I was foolish. I didn’t know any better. I honestly thought she wanted to show me her art. When we arrived at her small flat, where boxes were indeed everywhere, she grabbed my hand and kissed me. Things quickly escalated. Before I knew it, she had her mouth around my cock. Before I knew it, I had her undressed on the bed. A few seconds later, with penetration secured, I was swinging my hips back and forth like a rusted water pump. After one minute of penetration, and while sweating like a marathon runner, the most horrible thing happened. She stopped moaning, her eyes rolled up toward me, and she slowly asked, “When was the last time you had sex?”
I remember gulping. Was I that bad? I had thought. I shook my head and smiled, telling her only a week ago.
I never saw her again.
I had lost my virginity, and now – I was a man. Things could only get better from there … right? Things didn’t get better. I couldn’t replicate that night. I had lost my virginity to a girl who was moving to a different continent the next day. That’s why she had sex with me. I was just the lucky fool. I didn’t have sex again for over a year. The worst part of it all? I could never get her voice out of my head: “When was the last time you had sex?”
Eventually I got lucky again. But it was the same shit. The woman was faking her orgasm; I had the wits on me to see it. And the fact that she didn’t call or text me the next day made things worse.
I had enough. Pain and frustration were my fuel. I used it to sort out two areas of my life:
(A) How to be good in bed.
(B) How to interact with the opposite sex.
This book is about how to be good in bed. If you neglect this area in your life, like I did for a long time, don’t be surprised when women cheat on you with other men, who can give them what they really want: amazing sex. Don’t be fooled when women say sex isn’t important. They are lying.
The truth about sex
Men all over the world are at a disadvantage when it comes to sex. Duringinter course, it’s hard to tell if we are doing a good job or not. You can’t tell if the woman is enjoying herself or not. You can’t see, for sure, how turned on she is. She might moan, smile, even say, “Fuck me harder,” but chances are, all of that is just a byproduct of normal sex.
It’s easy for a woman to know if a man is turned on: a penis towering sky high.
Amanis so predictable during sex, that you can write a checklist before hand and watch it happen.
1) Man takes her into bedroom. 2) Mans tarts kissing her. 3) Man rubs hand over breast. 4) Man has an erection. 5) Man rips her clothes off. 6) Man penetrates. 7) Man ejaculates.
Most men go straight for her panties, and as soon as it’s removed, they penetrate. It’s as if seeing her private area hypnotizes a man; it’s as if a timer went off and penetration must happen under one minute. But this is nothing new. Women realize from a young age that men are much more interested in penetrating than pleasuring her. To make things worse, a man can’t even say if she is enjoying her self. Of course she will feel aroused when you penetrate. It’s inevitable. But the pleasure of penetration only goes so far. If you were like me, when I heard a woman moan during sex, I thought I was doing a great job. But I was wrong, and had to learn the hard way:
A woman can moan during sex, but it doesn’t mean she’s enjoying herself.
At first I found this hard to swallow, but after investigating my personal life, horror struck me. I was having sex with women, but they never seemed to call me back. I was having sex with women, but they never came back for a second round, probably fucking another guy.
Chances are, you are not performing as well as you think you are in the bed. Chances are, you are like most men who take being good in bed for granted. It can’t be that hard, can it? It’s not like it’s rocket science. No. Having sex is easier than rocket science, but don’t be fooled by its simplicity. Get it wrong, and you’ll only have the woman running away from you.
The first step is to realize we have a problem. It’s time to put the ego aside. Don’t feel bad about it
because no one taught us the skills. We weren’t bornwitha how-to sexmanual, so everythingwe know inlife we had to go out and learn.
Women will never tell you how bad you are in bed
It’s not what you think, it’s what she thinks. She is the one feeling the pleasure, not you. If you perform bad lyin bed, she’ll never go, “I’m not enjoying myself, please rub the right spots.” Why would a woman want to hurt your feelings? Let alone your sexego. Onthe other hand, it’s worth mentioningthat I was just fuckingunluck when the womanhad asked me, “When was the last time you had sex?” I’msure alcohol had a bigpart to playinit.
Instead of “let’s penetrate her as quickly as we can,” start to focus on pleasuring her instead.
If you want to set yourself apart from most men, the biggest improvement, and also the easiest, is to take your time duringsex. Do not try and remove her panties as fast as possible. Do not penetrate her as soon as her panties are off. This is what most men do.
Aman’s cockis like a leaf; a simple breeze can erect it to gigantic lengths.
A woman’s arousal is like an oven. There are a few switches you need to turn to make her feel turned on. And just like an oven, it takes time for it to warm up. You will always wait for the oven to be hot before you put the pizza inside. Most men penetrate while her body is still cold. A rookie mistake.
A woman’s body needs time to warm up, to moisten. She isn’t as quick as you. All you need to do is see naked flesh, and you are good to go, but don’t make the mistake thinking women are the same. Remember, think of their body as an oven. To turn on the oven you need to turn a few switches first and wait for it to warm up.
Let’s look at some oven switches we need to turn on.
Aska hundred womenwhat theylike about sex, and the majoritywill sayforeplay. If youare not focusing70% of your time onforeplay, youare not performingwell inbed. Here is the scarypart: most mendon’t evenspend 20% time onforeplay. All theywant to do is penetrate and pushit inand out. This turns youon. It doesn’t turnher on.
This had been my biggest mistake as well, spending almost no time on foreplay.
We will discuss how to do foreplay correctly, but for now we need to understand why it is so important. You see, foreplay is the keying red ient to turn her body (the oven) up high. Foreplay makes her hot and ready for penetration. If we penetrate her before she is ready, she will find it extremely hard to have anorgasm. For her to have anorgasmher bodyneeds to be warmed. Remember this
golden rule: before penetrating, make sure her body is ready for it; that means a lot of foreplay before hand.
The secret knowledge only a few men possess: women, a lot of the times, don’t have orgasms during penetration. This is especially true if you don’t know the woman that well. It takes a lot of comfort and getting used to — and it requires a certain skill from the man– to make the woman have orgasms during penetration consistently. The best wayto make a womanhave anorgasmis during foreplay. This means youwill be usingyour fingers and tongue to do the work. The best part of it all? It doesn’t require a tonof skill. Later inthis book, I’mgoingto share withyouwhat youneed to do withyour fingers. I know it works because I have givencountless womenorgasms while doingit.
It maycome as a shockto menthat most of the time, womendon’t have orgasms duringpenetration. And if lookat what menfocus on99% of the time, youfind that penetrationis their maingoal. So now youknow whymost womendon’t have anorgasmduringsex(and whytheyalways complain).
It’s hard workmakinga womancome eachtime. Whenyoustart to get good at makingwomenhave orgasms, youquicklyrealize that it requires a certainamount of effort. Agirlfriend I had a few years ago complained that guys couldn’t give her anorgasm, and that she had to do it herself most of the time. (She was 28). I was the first guyto make her have orgasms constantly. It didn’t take longto see why. Duringconversations, she had always complained that guys were too fast. “Theywould stickit inand keep ramminguntil theywere done.”
Want to know what I did to give her anorgasm? I just focused onforeplaya lot more. Above is a prime example of what mendo wrong. Menthinkwhat feels good for them, must feel good for her. This is not true. Womenfind it hard to have orgasms duringpenetration, especiallywhenthere was almost no foreplayinthe first place.
If youcanget to the point of givinga womananorgasm8 out of 10 times, thenyouare doingreally well. Here is somethingyoushould know: youwill never give a womananorgasmeverytime, because it actuallytakes effort and time.
Youmight thinkit’s strange to saythat youwon’t be able to give a womananorgasmeachtime you have sex, but what you’ll find is that, it’s a lot harder for her to have anorgasmthanyou. It takes effort, she has to be turned on, she has to be inthe right frame of mind, and sometimes youjust want to skip all that foreplayanywayand put it inside of her. Dependingonhow longyou’ve beenwiththe woman, if youcanmake her come 6 out of 10 times, thenyouare doingwell.
There is somethingevenmore important thanphysical foreplay. It’s called mental foreplay. The biggest sexorganinthe humanbodyis not downbelow, but up there, the brain. No amount of rubbing her downthere, no amount of pushingyour cockinand out, and no amount of skincaressingwill ever matchbeingturned oninside the brain. If she is turned oninthe brain, she will be turned on everywhere.
Start askingyourself, “How canI stimulate her mentally?” “How canI turnher brainon?” These questions will make youthinkina different way. Most mendon’t askthese questions; theyjust get the job done byremovingher panties and pushingit inside.
Don’t be predictable duringsex. Don’t do what most mendo: get her somewhere private, quickly take her clothes off, penetrate, and come. Youwant to switchyour behavior around, i.e., don’t keep havingroughsex, don’t keep havingcasual sex, don’t keep doingthe same thingconsistently. Maybe one time, youwant to focus onlyonplayingwithher downthere. Maybe another time, youwant to rip her clothes off and fuckher as fast as youcan. Maybe another time, youwant to take your time and be romantic. Unpredictabilityis a potent turnon. Be different, and make her guess.
The power of foreplay
Whyis foreplayso important? Because it’s a language womenunderstand. Their bodies (the oven) require a certainamount of time to warmup. Foreplayis a keyingredient to warmingtheir bodies. It’s worthmentioning: youwould never put a pizza ina cold oven; youwill wait until the ovenis hot. Make sure youget her warmed up, not onlyphysically, but mentallybefore penetrating. This will help you(A) make her have anorgasm, and (B) she will enjoysexa lot more because she wants you inside.
The vagina needs time to moisten, otherwise it will feel uncomfortable for her whenyouenter. Take your time withforeplay. Youwill be surprised at the results. She will be the one tellingyouto enter her. She will realize that youare not like most men, who act as if sexwere a 100msprint.
Let’s talkmore about foreplayand how we accomplishit.
Take your time.
Resist the urge to penetrate her like a Royal NavyTomahawkCruise Missile.
Billycloses the door. He turns around and sees her onthe bed, waiting. He feels his heart beating against his chest. He feels his crotchexpanding. He trundles toward the bed and thenstarts kissing her. After takingher shirt off, he kisses her mouthsome more. He thensucks her nipples for twenty seconds. He removes her jeans, her panties, and thenremoves his clothes. Withhis eyes fixed onher vagina, he penetrates. She moans. He moans. Four minutes later, he comes. He falls next to her and says, “That was great.”
Keep doingthis, and womenwill weightheir other more lucrative options.
Aside note: a woman, if she likes youto some degree, will tolerate bad sexfor a few times, but after a while, she’ll lose interest.
Do not let the need for penetrationruinyour sexwithher. What youwant to do is start focusing onlyonforeplay. Instead of focusing90% of your time onpenetration, adjust it. Focus 80% of your time onforeplayand 20% onpenetration. Keep doingthis until yousee a pattern. The patternwill be her saying, “I want youinside.” If a womansays that, thenyouknow her ovenis hot. But hold up. Evenif she tells youto enter her, I want youto tell her, “Wait, I’mnot finished.” And continue with foreplay. Be the manand take control. Youwill enter her whenyoufeel like it.
Foreplay never stops.
Amistake menmake is thinkingthat foreplayis just some kissing, some rubbing, and thenthat’s it. Foreplayis anongoingthing– evenduringpenetration, where youwhisper dirtywords inher ear, smell her neck, and bite her lips.
Things youwant to do before penetration.
Youwant to build the warmthinside of her. Buildingwarmthtakes time. While onthe bed, start kissinglightly. Do not tongue her heavily. While kissingfor a few minutes, youwant to start rubbing your hand across certainparts of her body: the side of her neck, up and downher legs, brushyour hand over her chest, up and downher arm. Youdo this while kissing.
Always be usingtwo channels. For example, while kissingher withyour lips, use your hand for caressingher skin(so you’re doingtwo things at the same time). Continue rubbingyour hand up and downher legs (don’t touchher private area) and thenstart smellingher neckup and downslowly. Give her a light peckonthe neckand say, “Yousmell … reallygood.” Go backto kissingher lips lightly.
After youhave done this for a while, start unbuttoningher jeans – while kissing. Slowlyremove her jeans withyour one arm– while kissing. Whenher jeans are removed, start rubbingyour hand across her inner legthigh, makingsure not to touchthe private area.
Aside note: youwant to avoid touchingher vagina for as longas youcan. She will be wondering whyyouaren’t touchingit. She will be expectingyouto touchit, or rub it, but youwill avoid being like most menand continue focusingonforeplay. (Bythis stage, most menwould alreadyhave been inside of her).
Stop kissingher, and lookat her legs. Youwant to lookat her legs witha strong, focused gaze, as if youwere admiringart. While doingso, rub your fingers up and downher leg. At this stage, youcan rub your fingers close to her private area – but don’t touchit directly. What youwant to do is runyour fingers around her panties. Glide your fingers over her stomach, thendownher legs again. Making sure not to touchthe private area directly. After doingthis for a minute or two, lookat her and start kissingher again.
While kissing, take your hand awayfromher legs and glide themover her stomachtoward her breasts. Youcanslide your hand under her shirt if youwant. While kissing, squeeze her breasts (not too hard, but firm). Tell her, “Youturnme on… so much.”
Take your hand awayfromher breasts (do not continue squeezingthemlike a toy). Now firmly place your hand behind her neckand start kissingheavier. Do this for a while. Bynow, youwill find her bodygettingwarmed up. Youwill also find yourself turned on– avoid penetrationfor now.
While kissingheavily, take your hand awayfromher neckand start rubbingit up and downher
legs again. This time, youwant to get near her private area withyour fingers. Slide your finger around the private area, just around the rims, not direct.
While kissing, start removingher shirt. Whenit’s removed, climb ontop of her. Youwant to start peckingher neckwithyour lips, and thenworkyour waydownher body. Keep kissingher body, movingdownward, until youreachher panties.
Remember the rule: always be usingtwo channels, e.g., if youare kissingher, rub your hand along
her skinat the same time.
Youcankeep her bra onfor now. Start kissingher around her panties. While youkiss the edges of her underwear, use your hand and rub it across her arms and chest.
Now, withher panties still on, kiss her private area ontop. Just give it a simple kiss. Don’t suckor anything, just a simple kiss. Then, move awayfromher private area toward her mouth. Start kissing her lips again. While kissing, take your hand and remove her underwear fromher legs. Still kissing, use the tips of your fingers and caress her vagina lightlyup and down. Switchto one finger, and rub it betweenthe lips of the vagina – do not pushit inside. All youwant to do is rub your finger up and downher private area, around her clitoris.
It’s veryimportant that youknow where the clitoris is. Womenturnthemselves onbyrubbingthis
area. It’s also what youwill be focusingonto make her have anorgasm.
Aside note: it is extremelyimportant that youknow these two areas of the female body: the
clitoris and the G-spot. We will talkabout the G-spot later.
Bynow, if youhave takenyour time withher, she will be readyfor penetration, but WE ARE NOT goingto penetrate her just yet, because it’s time to use a secret weapon– somethingthat will make youunstoppable inbed.
Secret sex weapon one
We’ve beenfocusingall of our attentiononpleasuringher, and we’ve done this bytakingour time, stimulatingcertainareas (kissingher lips, smellingthe side of her neck, rubbinga hand up and down her inner legthighs), and not touchingher private area for as longas possible.
It’s important to avoid touchingher private area for as longas possible. Youcanbrushyour hand across her chest and up toward her neck, and if youdo touchher breasts – don’t attackthem. Worst case scenario, youstart squeezingthemas if your life depended onit. The keyis to make her wonder, “Whenis he goingto touchme downthere?” This creates suspense, and suspense makes her want you evenmore.
So you’ve beenfocusingonher pleasure. Youare busykissing, and she is half naked next to you. It’s time to introduce the secret sexweapon: your tongue.
Youneed to fall inlove stimulatingher withyour tongue downthere. If you’ve beenslowly warmingher bodyup withyour fingers and touch, thenit’s time to head down.
If youwant to increase your probability of giving a womananorgasmby 60%, youneedto
play withher downthere until she is craving for youto be inside of her.
This cannot be stressed enough. If youwant to give her anorgasm, youneed to focus most of your attentiononstimulatingher bodywarmth. This will be the difference betweenyouand her previous partners. It’s easyfor a manto come; for a womanit’s different. Youcan’t just stickyour penis inside and ramit inand out. It might feel good for you, but for her it’s different. Youcan’t rushit. It takes time. And this is whyyoucan’t give her anorgasm10 out of 10 times, but youshould definitelybe aimingfor 6 out of 10 times.
What youdo withyour tongue.
The good news. Youdon’t need to know super techniques for lickingher downthere. Youdon’t need to start swirlingyour tongue inalphabetical patterns. Youjust need to fall inlove with pleasuringher downthere. Let me explain. There is a reasonwhywomenmasturbate rubbingthe tip of their private area, circlingtheir finger over it and squeezingtheir breasts while doingso. There is reasonwhytheydon’t always sticktheir fingers inand keep it there. It’s because stimulatingthe outside area withfingers is more pleasurable. The clitoris, that protrudingstumpybit at the top, is said to be a gift ona woman’s body, because the clitoris seemto serve onlyone bodilyfunction: sexual stimulation.
The clitoris: it’s sensitive, so don’t keep rubbingit constantly. What youwant to do, especiallyin the beginning, is to stimulate it withlight finger tips. Runyour finger around the edges, thenrub it
directly, thenbackaround the edges. The keyto maximumstimulationis to caress her private area withsoft strokes. This will turnher onevenmore.
Mistake: yousee mengoingcrazyonher private area inpornmovies. Theyremove panties and keep rubbingher vagina – keep rubbingher clitoris withcrazystrokes. Two things to learnfromthis: pornmovies are not educational, and constant rubs onher clitoris doesn’t feel good for her; it canget uncomfortable.
Whenyouuse your tongue downthere, the same rules apply. Youlickaround the edges of her clitoris, sometimes onit, and thengo backto lickingaround the area. Inmyexperience, youdon’t need to start doingtechniques withyour tongue, i.e., youdon’t need to lickup down, left right, up down. The onlythingyouneed to know is this: keep it simple. Treat her private area like a delicate flower. Youwant to slowlyrub your tongue over the place, onher clitoris, and awayfromit. And here’s the most important part: youneed to make love to that area. Whena womansees youenjoying yourself – lickingher downthere, gettinglost inthe moment – she will be turned on20 times more.
Key nugget: womenare beautyconscious. Evenif theyhave the perfect body, theyare still insecure about it. Whenyoulickthemdownthere, theywill be thinking: I hope I don’t taste funny. It’s your responsibilityto make her feel comfortable, because the more comfortable she is, the more likelyshe is to have anorgasm. If she starts worrying, she starts thinkinga lot, and that means she is not focusingonthe pleasure downthere. I always tell a womanwhile licking, “Youtaste so good,” or “yousmell nice.” Believe me, these comments will put her mind at ease. And her mind at ease = her enjoyingsexmore.
Key nugget: remember the two channel rule. While youdo somethingwithone part of her body, do somethingelse withanother part of her body. Inother words, let’s sayyouare lickingher with your tongue, don’t let your arms idle and sit around. Use your one hand to rub over her stomachand squeeze her breasts while licking.
Secret sex weapon two
Master the art of pleasingher withthe tongue, and she will crave you. Whenyouintroduce another sexweapon– the finger, whichis the equivalent of anatomic bomb of pleasure, youwill make her go crazyfor you. But COMBINE the two (finger + tongue) … and she turns into a crazed sexaddict with your name tattooed onher left leg.
This is no joke. I remember the daywhenI was gettinggood at givingwomenorgasms. My success rate was 4 out of 10 times. I was startingto understand the mechanics. I was startingto understand that foreplaywas not onlyimportant – but mandatory. At the time, I was gettinggood at usingonlymytongue downthere. I would use it until she was hot and heavy– readyfor me to enter. But what I found was that eventhoughthe tongue did its job, there was somethingmissing, and this was while usingthe super-secret-sexweapons:
Always be using two channels.
Example: kissingher onthe neckwhile rubbingher inner-legthigh.
Stimulate clitoris withlight strokes.
Inother words: rub around it, not onlyonit. Don’t pressure it withhard strokes.
Inother words: keep turningher onwithforeplayuntil she wants youinside.
Still, there was somethingmissing. Makinga womanhave anorgasm4 out of 10 times was okay, but not great. I wanted to be great. And thenthe daycame whenthe SexGod above gave me the inspiration. I saw where I went wrong. I was so consumed withthe whole “don’t penetrate her until she is ready” thing, that I was unable to see the solution. It’s because what I failed to realize was that “penetrating” canbe done intwo ways: fingers and cock. I know it sounds obvious, but I knew the biggest mistake menmade was penetratingtoo soon, so I avoided all forms of penetration.
What youneed to know: youonlywant to penetrate her withyour fingers at a certaintime and ina certainway.
I know it works because whenI started doingwhat I’mabout to share – mysuccess rate shot up by 40%. Let me repeat that again. MySUCCESS RATE shot up by40%. I was now makingwomen come 80% of the time; whereas before, it was around the 40% mark.
All the above rules still apply, i.e., youwant to take your time warmingher up. Fromgettingher on the bed, kissingher, kissingher neck, whisperingnaughtywords, slowlyremovingher clothes while
kissing, rubbingher inner thighs, avoidingprivate area for as longas youcan, and so forth. But when youhave her panties off, and youare downthere lickingher, I want youto implement a new tool.
Start puttingyour fingers inher after youhave used your tongue for a while. This means, youwill be penetratingher for the first time withyour fingers.
Youwant to get the timingright. The keyrule is to avoid penetratingher for as longas possible. And the first formof penetrationwill be the fingers – not the cock. Youwant to use one finger at first – the middle finger. The middle finger will be turned upside down(so nail upside down). Infact, almost never finger a womanwithyour fingers turned up.
The best time to put your finger inside of her is whenshe is wet and horny– fromall the previous foreplay. The ultimate keyto this is to be usingthe two channel rule. Youwill be lickingher private area (one channel) while slidingyour middle finger inher (second channel).
While youslowlylickher clitoris up and down, youwill start to use your finger inside of her.
Youare gettinggood at lickingher.
Now it’s time to get good at the art of usingone finger.
There is a specific way– gesture – youneed to be usingwithyour middle finger. To show you what the movement needs to be like, follow these simple steps.
1) Lift one of your hands. Point your middle finger as if youwere showinga rude gesture to someone.
2) Your middle finger should be pointingup. Lower the middle finger down. Youshould now be pointingyour middle finger withyour palmfacingthe roof.
3) Withyour middle finger pointingstraight, start doinga “come over here gesture” withit.
Here is a visual representation. It’s simplygettingyour middle finger out and doinga “come here gesture” withit.
Your middle finger will be inside of her whenyoudo the come-here gesture. Youwill pushyour
middle finger 90% of the wayinside. There is a verygood reasonwe are doingthis.
We are stimulating the most important part: the G-spot.
If youslide your finger in(upside down) and do a come-here gesture, youwill be lookingfor a roughpatchyarea onthe top part of her vagina roof. It will be a small circular area, and it will feel a little roughcompared to the other areas. This is extremelyimportant, and I want to emphasize this
Youdon’t need to spend five years gettinga degree insexto be good inbed. Youdon’t need to learnanycrazytechniques or voodoo spells. Youonlyneed to master two areas of the female body: the G-spot and the clitoris. Combine this withmassive foreplay, and youare well onyour wayto
The clitoris is easyto find. It’s ontop of her vagina – visible. The G-spot, however, is inside the
vagina and a little trickier to find. But it is byno means hard. Youjust have to slide your middle finger upside downinto the vagina, and slowlydo a seesaw moment – a come-here backand forth moment. Withpractice, youwill find the roughpatchonthe roof. And remember, no fast jabbinginthe
vagina, nice and slow movements.
Secret sex weapon three
Whenyouhave spent sufficient time onforeplay(youtookyour time turningher onwithclothes on; youavoided touchingher directlydownthere), thenit’s time to remove her underwear and use your tongue and fingers.
Playingwithher downthere, withyour fingers and tongue, is byfar the best wayto ensure her orgasm. I used to onlyuse mytongue for pleasuringher downthere. Sure, sometimes I used a finger or two, but what I found was that I was usingmyfingers completelywrong, and it’s a massive mistake most menmake.
Massive mistake: fingers should be used to gentlymassage the vagina area, and this includes the g-spot. But if youare jammingyour fingers inand out of her (especiallyturned up), chances are you are not stimulatingher. Do not ramyour fingers inand out.
Key nugget: the areas youneed to focus onare the G-spot and clitoris.
What youneed to do.
Whenyoustart playingdownthere, youonlyneed to use your tongue for the first 5-10 min. Do not penetrate her withyour fingers just yet. If youhave beenwarmingher up until now, she’ll love your tongue playingwithher. Youneed to get lost inthe moment whenpleasuringher. Don’t keep looking up at her to see what her facial reactionis. Youwant to put all your attentiononher private area, and give it immense pleasure withyour tongue. Remember, if youdon’t know what to do withyour tongue, just remember the general rule: youwant to thinkabout caressingher. This means: light strokes, light kisses. Withpractice, youwill know whento increase the speed/intensity. But just stick to doingthings slow and sensual. We are focusingonher pleasure.
Congratulations. If youhave beentakingyour time withher and are now makinglove to her private area downthere, thenit’s time to introduce your fingers, which– I guarantee – will make her want youdangerouslybad.
This will be the first time youare puttingyour fingers inside. This will be sucha potent cocktail of pleasure for her because she’s beenwonderingwhenyouwere goingto do it. Menbynow would have penetrated her withtheir cocks a longtime ago. We, however, are just startingout withour fingers.
While lickingher clitoris withyour tongue, slide your middle finger, as discussed, inside of her. Youwill now (A) be stimulatingher clitoris withyour tongue, and (B) be stimulatingher G-spot with your middle finger.
Don’t be surprised if she starts moaningloudly. Youare now usingthe most powerful method to stimulate a womansexually. It works because it stimulates the clitoris and G-spot, and those are the areas womenneed stimulatingto ensure anorgasm.
Withpractice, youwill start to notice somethingconstantly. The womanwill tell you, “Put it inside of me.” And she is talkingabout your cock. It’s because she is so turned onthat she is onthe verge, or well onher way, to havinganorgasm. And she doesn’t want the orgasmjust yet because she wants your cockinside. This is the power of foreplay. This is the power of focusingonher pleasure.
This method works. Tryit. Do it. Experience it.
Interesting side note: if youhaven’t noticed already, the method above isn’t rocket science. It’s actuallyverybasic. There are no secret techniques youneed to use, no voodoo spells, and no “go wild onher” methods. It’s actuallythe opposite of wild. Youstickto the basics and master them. You master the art of foreplay.
And now youknow the most important thingthere is to know: focus onpleasuringthe G-spot and clitoris.
Always have those two areas inmind. Master the art inpleasuringthose areas. Make love to them. Don’t be like most men, who rub her clitoris hard withtheir fingers and thensticktheir cockin. No wonder womencomplainthat theyare almost never satisfied duringsex. This leads us to our next point.
What women aren’t telling you
There is a disease trundlingabout. It’s infectingwomenall over the world. The disease? Women are satisfied withpoor sex.
This is not a joke. 80% of menout there have no clue what theyare doingduringsex. Theyare just goingwiththe flow whenit comes to makinglove. It can’t be that hard, right? It’s prettybasic stuff … sex. Youget a womannaked and youfuckher? What’s so hard about that?
If 80% mendon’t know what theyare doing– due to beinglazy, takingsexfor granted, or just ignorant – thenthat means a womanwill roughlyhave to sleep with10 mento find that 1. The problemis, eventhoughwomenare verysexual, theyare not goingto go sleep withtenmeninone month. This simplymeans: womenall over the world are settlingfor a partner who provides a poor sexual experience.
The scarything? It’s become normal.
But don’t find this reassuring. Don’t thinkjust because most menare performingbadlythat she will stickwithyou. If youprovide a bad sexual experience (and keep doingso), chances are, the woman will leave youfor someone else, who canprovide her witha better experience.
Sexis important. Whena womantells me sexisn’t important, she is either lyingor she hasn’t experienced good sex.
Sexis quintessentiallyus. Without sex, we wouldn’t be alive today. Infact, earthwould be a sterile desert, because evenplants need sex. Yes, plants have sex.
So whydon’t people studysexif it’s that important? Because it’s frowned upon. Religionsays it’s evil. Societyavoids the subject. People are nervous talkingabout it. Worst case scenario, people rationalize: youeither get it or youdon’t.
Just like anythinginlife, sexis a learned skill.
Just because mentalkmore openlyabout sexdoesn’t make themmore sexual. Womenare actually far more sexual thanmen. Don’t believe me? Go read erotica and romance books. Romance books are the equivalent of pornfor women. Womendon’t watchporn– theyread books.
Womenlove sex. If youcanshow thema good time inbed – if youcanbe the 1 out of 10 who can give themconstant orgasms – youwill be the type of mantheycrave. If youfocus onthe stuff we have learned so far inthis book, youare well onyour wayto beingthat one. Just takingyour time before penetrationis enoughto set yourself apart. If youwant to set yourself apart, do the opposite of what
most mendo. And remember, what feels good for youdoesn’t always meanit feels good for her. Your bodies are wired differently. It’s easyto make a manhave anorgasm; a womancansee withher own two eyes whena manejaculates. But what about women? Cana mansee whena womanejaculates? It’s not that easy.
Alot of womenfake orgasms. Just imagine that for a second. Imagine youhad to fake your orgasms whenhavingsexwitha woman. How would youfeel? Fuckingterrible, that’s how you’d feel. Sex needs a release. Imagine masturbatingand always stoppingat the end. How would youfeel not being able to release all that built up pleasure? Now youknow how womenfeel, and now youknow why womenwould rather be witha manwho knows what he’s doing.
Onthe flipside, sexis also not everything. If youare a decent guywho makes her laugh, thenshe wants youto be good inbed. If youmake her feel safe and happy, thenshe wants youto be good in bed.
I’ve alreadygivenyouwhat youneed to know to give womenorgasms: youneed to spend 80% of your time onforeplay, and youneed to focus your attentiononthe G-spot and clitoris. This means takingyour time. This means focusingonher pleasure evenif it means sacrificingyour own. Youwant to be delicate withyour touch. Youdon’t want to rub her private area all the time and hard. Youwant to stimulate her clitoris bylickingdirectlyonit, thenaround it, thenawayfromit. Same rule applies whenfingeringher inside. Youdon’t want to jab your fingers inand out. All youneed is one finger, whichrubs the top inner-wall of her vagina. Again, youwant to stimulate it withdelicate and slow movements.
Side note: of course youwould want to switchit up. Youare not ALWAYS goingto be delicate and soft. Sometimes youare goingto be fast and rough. But whenyoustart out, just stickto taking your time. Soft strokes. Remember, most menwould just jab a few fingers in, miss the G-spot completely, and sticktheir penis inside. Don’t be the average guy.
Youdon’t want to lose the womanof your dreams due to not beingable to please her inbed. Womenthat saysexisn’t important are lying. Whywould a persondenyone of the biggest pleasures inlife? Again, she either had a bad experience witha previous partner or there’s a highchance she’s just actingcasual over the subject; womendon’t walkaround talkingabout sexto just anyone.
Don’t mistake her closed lip for a low sexual drive. It’s better to see womenas highlysexual creatures, whichtheyare, as to grandma’s fragile cups. Theyare not fragile. Theycrave a manwho knows his wayaround the bedroom. Now this doesn’t meanyouneed to be a rockstar inthe bedroom. It’s all about masteringthe basics of sex. The basics are all youneed. I know youonlyneed the basics, because I amusingthe basics to give womenconstant orgasms.
No needto readanencyclopedia of anatomy.
No needto buy a Kama Sutra book; it’s a waste of time andmoney.
No needto have a tonof sexual experience.
Master the art of foreplay.
Master the art of avoidingher vagina for as longas possible.
Master the art of usingyour tongue.
Master the art of usingyour finger.
Master the art of pleasuringher G-spot and clitoris.
Relationships are beautiful. Whenpeople fall inlove and share experiences, the world turns from yellow to bright pink. I would never base a relationship solelyonhow good the sexis, and if the womanlikes you, she won’t too – to some extent. If the two of youenjoyeachother’s company, then don’t riskleavinga fissure inthe relationship. The fissure is bad sex.
The key to penetration
Want to know the keyto penetration?
Only put it inside whenshe is ready.
Menall over the world are doingthe opposite: puttingtheir cockinwhenwomenaren’t ready.
Awoman’s biggest sexual organ, the brain, needs to be warmed up first. To warmup her brain, youneed to shift your focus from“let’s stickit inand come” to “I’mgoingto spend a lot of time on foreplay.” Nothingwarms her bodyfaster thangood foreplay. And as we have discussed, foreplayis anongoingthing, evenduringsex.
So whyis it so important? If the womanisn’t readyto be penetrated, there will be several factors that will lead to her disappointment. Awoman’s vagina secretes a wateryliquid whenturned on; the liquid acts like lube. The purpose, to ease a male’s entry. It canfeel uncomfortable for a womanif she isn’t ready(turned on), because downstairs, it still needs time to moisten. So if a manjust rips her clothes off and sticks it in, chances are, it doesn’t feel good for her. Apart fromthe physical turnoff, the biggest turnoff comes mentallyand not physically.
Awoman’s focus should be onthe moment’s pleasure, not insecurities, pain, or restlessness.
It is your responsibility, as the man, to shift her focus away fromany insecurities, running thoughts, or discomfort, to her being fully inthe moment. This means, bathing her focus with
The more her focus is onthe current pleasure, the more she will enjoysexwithyou. This concept applies to youas well. Youneed to be focusingall your senses inthe moment. Youneed to be making love to her bodywithyour eyes; youbecome obsessed withher skinbystaringher bodyup and down slowly. How does her skinfeel? Youslide your hands around her inner thighs and find out. How does she smell? Yousmile, leancloser, and smell the side of her neck(again, slowly). What do younotice? Do younotice the scent of perfume and sweat mixed together? Do youlike it? Does it turnyouon evenmore? Maybe tell her, “Yousmell … so nice.” Thenkiss her. How does her lips feel? Hot or lukewarm? Canyouhear her breathing? What happens to her breathingwhenyoustart slidingyour fingers downher legs? Does it stutter or flow smooth? Whenfinished listeningto her breathing, listen to your heart. Does your heart beat slow or fast? Go backto smellingher neck. How fast is your heart beatingnow?
This is what I meanbybeinginthe moment. Beinginthe moment is a critical element to good sex. If youstart to notice the little things about her, e.g., how soft her legs are, how her necksmells, or how warmher lips are, youwill find her gettingturned on25xmore. Womencantell if youare not in
the moment, and youdon’t want this. It will make her think: what is he thinking? We want her away fromher inner thoughts. Instead, we want her consumed bymoment’s pleasure.
Our goal is to turnher on. Our goal is to focus onher pleasure. HER PLEASURE. Have youever asked yourself the question“How canI reallyturnher on” duringor before sex? What is your goal whenhavingsex? Is it like most men, who sticks it inand comes a few minutes later? Or do yougo the extra mile and make sure she’s enjoyingher time as well? These are important questions to ask. Too manywomenhave sexwithmenonlyto finishindisappointment. How would youfeel if the womancame before youeachtime and thenleft youhanging? Womenneed to release their sexual tensionas well – just like men. The scarypart is, most guys finishwaybefore women– thencall it quits. Satisfyher, and she will love youevenmore.
You need to knowabout this
If youwant to know how to NOT have sex, watchporn. The older I’mgetting, the more I’m startingto realize a scarytruth. What they’ve beentellingus about pornmight actuallybe true. That watchingpornall dayand everydayhas a verynegative impact. I have nothingagainst porn– how canI? I still watcha clip or two everyso often. But there’s a disease onthe loose. Menare sacrificingreal life sexfor watchingporn. Theyget turned on, and what do theydo withtheir sexual energy? Theyspend it ona five minute clip. Theycome, slouchonthe chair, and continue withtheir day. So what, right?
It’s time to laythe cards onthe table. I’mafraid we are fucked. I’mafraid it might be too late to reverse the negative impact; it’s like the war ondrugs, but inthis case, the war onpornhas slipped under society’s radar. The problemevolves into a disease whenmansolelyrelies onpornfor his sexual needs. It’s good for short-termsatisfaction, but what are the long-termconsequences? If we keep spendingour sexual energyonpornclips, we are essentiallythrowingawaymotivationthat could have beenused to find a partner to have sexwith. I know this bookis about “how to have sex,” but I know too manymenthat aren’t evenhavingsexinthe first place. I used to be one of them. All I did was watcha bit of pornto sate mydesire – and carried onwithlife. But the problemgoes deeper. Menare subconsciouslygettingtips frompornmovies. And what’s the problemwiththat? The problemis 95% of pornis not educational. We become so consumed byit that we seemto forget that the womenonit are paidto have sex. Theyare paid to fake orgasms, screamwithpleasure, and they are paid to fake a good time.
How muchforeplaydo yousee inporn? Almost zero. There is no foreplaybecause there are fuckingcameras pointingeverywhere and theyare ona script. And what is keyto a woman’s pleasure? Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. But what typicallyhappens? The mancomes onscreen, grabs her neck, kisses her for twentyseconds, takes off her skirt, takes off her panties, smacks his palmon her vagina, gets his cockout for a BJ, grabs her bythe neck, puts her onthe bed, gives her the cock; the womanscreams pleasure, the womanscreams pleasure, and the womanreleases her orgasm.
Are men… followingthis patterninreal life? Theyare. Is this porn’s evil programming? Is this the disease we are talkingabout?
The answer: only50%
Pornis not the mainculprit. It’s a mixture of two things: 50% pornand 50% ignorance.
Eachone of us is bornwithout a life manual. The skills we know inlife are the ones we have learned. Youlearnhow to walk, playaninstrument, speaka language, build anaircraft, and youlearn how to have sex. But most people forget this. Theyforget that sexis a learned skill, and this is where the ignorance comes in. To be good inbed, youneed to have a basic understandingof sex. This
includes havinga basic understandingof the female body. Mendon’t evenknow what theyare stickingtheir cockinto. Theyknow it’s a vagina, but that’s about it. Theyfall into the biggest trap: what feels good for themmust feel good for her, right?
I thinkit’s worthmentioning: beinggood inbed isn’t a hard skill to learn. Youdon’t need a tonof sexual experience, and youdon’t need to read bigbooks. If youaskyourself, “What makes a woman come? What turns her on? What makes her go wild inbed?” youwill find the answers verysimple. It revolves around stimulatingthe G-spot and clitoris. If youhave read the foreplaysection, and noticed how we tookour time, youwill alreadybe well onyour wayto givingher anexperience that she would never forget.
Just the simple act of takingyour time, savingpenetrationfor later, will separate youfrommost men. She will quicklyrealize that there is somethingdifferent about you. She will be wondering: why isn’t he touching me down there? When is he going to remove my pants? All of this builds suspense, and suspense is like crackcocaine but the good kind.
There is nothingwrongwithwatchingporn. All mendo. Don’t burnthe Internet cables to avoid pornsites, but there is a line that if crossed, will make youchoose jackingoff infront of a screen over meetingwomeninreal life. Worst case scenario, a manthinks that the stuff inpornmovies are real. All of this cangive youthe wrongimpressionof sex. Remember, if youwant to educate yourself onsex, avoid porn. The womenonit are paid to fake orgasms.
The correct way to penetrate
There is great news, and there is terrible news. The terrible news is that menthinkwomenreceive a tonof pleasure duringdickpenetration. If a mandoesn’t know where the G-spot is, he’s hittingthe wrongspots. Menthink, “Penetrationfeels good for us, so it must feel good for her?” But this is not true.
The good news is that if youknow what to stimulate ona woman’s body, the clitoris and G-spot, and youknow where the G-spot is, youcanadjust your bodymovement duringpenetrationto ensure youare touchingthe roof of her vagina.
Key nugget: just like how youstimulated her G-spot withyour middle finger, now it’s time to do
it withyour cock.
It’s important that youhave a roughidea where the G-spot is. If youput your middle finger inher (just over 80%), and slowlyrub the roof, youwill feel a little rougharea. That’s the approximate area.
So what’s the bigdeal about the G-spot? The G-spot and clitoris are byfar the most sensitive, and if youwatcha womanmasturbate, youwill notice two things: she uses her hand to stimulate those areas (withslowlydelicate strokes) and she almost never uses a toy. Whywould she? Her hand is the best toy.
Whenit comes to penetratingwithyour dick, youwill always keep this inmind: am I grinding on the top part of her vagina? I used the word “grinding” for a good reason. I’msure youhave heard the expression: “It’s not how bigit is, it’s how youuse it that matters.”
Goldennugget: it’s all about the movement of your dick. Is it caressingthe roof of her vagina?
Go turnona pornmovie and you’ll see what I’mtalkingabout. Menfuckingina veryrobotic way.
There’s a reasonwhywomensay, “It’s all about the movement.” Theyare referringto a guywho uses his bodymovement correctly. The good news? Youdon’t need a massive dickto please her – it’s all about the movement.
What is the moment?
Surprisingly, the most important part is not your dick– it’s your hips. The mistake menmake is focusingtheir attentionontheir dick. But it’s a lot faster to improve if youfocus onyour hips, because gettingthe hip movement right will automaticallyfixthe dickmovement. The easiest wayto know how to use your dickis to get good at usingyour finger first. Whenyouare downthere, playingwith
her, youwill be usingthe method of onlyusingyour middle finger. Youwill get good at touchingher G-spot withthe “come-here gesture.” (Remember, gentlystroke the roof, no hard movements). First get a basic understandingwhere (A) the G-spot is, and (B) how to rub it withyour finger (youcanuse her moaningor facial expressionas anindicator if youare doingit right). Whenyouhave this mastered, youwill know how to use your dick; it’s exactlythe same thing.
Let’s sayyouare ontop of her. Instead of pushingit inand out ina straight line, I want youto focus onthe G-spot roof area. The aimis to use your hips ina seesaw gesture. Whenslidingit inand out, askyourself if the tip of your dickis grindingonthe top? If it isn’t, adjust your hip movement until youdo. Remember, the aimis not to force it inand out but to take your time and grind onthe roof. Just beingaware of this is enoughto make yougreat at sex. Astraight pattern, inand out, doesn’t grind on the roof of her vagina.
Don’t freakout if youdon’t know exactlyhow. Whenhavingsex, it will quicklycome naturallyif youknow what youare lookingfor (hittingthe roof). The great news is that if youare gettinggood at usingyour middle finger to touchher G-spot, thenyouknow exactlywhat to touchwithyour dick.
Gettinggood at touchingher G-spot withyour dickwill make youa sexgod. Because most mendo it wrong, and whenshe meets a guylike youwho knows how to hit the right spots, she’ll be addicted to you. It requires practice to get the movement right withyour hips, but just get started, and you’ll be amazed.
You will most likely have an orgasm before her
Menalmost always ejaculate first; youneed to be different. This means youare goingto have to learnhow to keep your load infor a while longer. Sexis a primal act. Whentwo people have intercourse, the aimof the game is to get it over with. Innature, we don’t see the “sharingorgasm” concept. Amale animal will climb onto the female and release sperm. There is no pleasuringher; it’s all about ensuringthe DNA.
It looks like menare still stuckwiththeir primal animal side. Whentheyhave sexwitha woman, theyseemto forget all about pleasuringher, and all theyfocus onis how good it feels for them. Usually, it doesn’t take longfor the manto come. And what happens? Theyroll over and call it a night.
Don’t be fooled bythe woman’s cool exterior; inside, she is cravingto have her ownsexual energyreleased, and do youreallythinkshe’s goingto tell you, “Hey, Bill, uhm, canyoufinishme?” Whywould she want to hurt your pride? Your ego?
Sexis a buildup of pleasure. Just imagine jackingoff to porneachtime, and quittingat the end? Youwill have a lot of energyflowinginside of you, wantingto be released. Interestingnote: it’s actuallynot a bad idea to tryand save that energyyourself. If youcantrainyourself to have sexwitha woman, and wait for her to have anorgasmfirst (evenif this means youdon’t have one), thenyou will definitelybe settingyourself apart frommost men.
Don’t be selfishwhenit comes to sex. Youhave to realize that she is also a humanwithsexual energy, whichneeds to be released. Womenare extremelytolerant to havingtheir sexual energy released. Theyhave to be … because most mendon’t give a fuckand just come before theydo, and thenshe’s left withthe energyinside. But heed the warning… if youkeep onleavingher unsatisfied, she will inevitablyseeka partner who cando it. How would youfeel if a womancame before you eachtime and climbed off you? Sure, youmight tolerate this for a while, but what about the longrun?
The good news is that if youguys like eachother, she wants youto be good inbed. And beinggood inbed is not hard. It’s as simple as focusingyour energyonforeplay, warmingher bodyup for penetration, stimulatingher G-spot and clitoris, and helpingher release her sexual energy. If youdo somethingas simple as takingyour time before puttingit in, youwill alreadybe separatingyourself fromthe novice boys.
It honestlytakes “hard” workto get her to come eachtime. Youwill notice this for yourself. But youdefinitelyneed to help her reachanorgasmover 50% of the time. If youwant to ensure that she has anorgasm, thenthe biggest advice I cangive youis to playwithher downthere before puttingit inside. Infact, get good at givingher anorgasms withonlyyour tongue and finger. Make her have an orgasmbefore youevenput it inside.
I want to stress that achievinggreatness insexisn’t hard. It’s all about masteringthe basics. Stay awayfromthose bigsexbooks, where theyshow youall the sexmoves. It’s bullshit and a waste of time. Stickto masteringthe basic sexpositions.
The keyto all of this is understandingthat it’s natural to tryand come before the woman. The urge to put it inside and ejaculate is a primal need. Eventhoughthe old emotional brain, the ancestor part, is still runningthe show – we need to go against the urge. It’s a well-knownrule inlife that to be successful insomething, we sometimes need to do things that are counter-intuitive. Resistingthe urge to put it inside and come is counter-intuitive.
Make sure she’s havingjust as muchfunas you, and remember, what feels good for youmight not feel good for her.
Stick to these sex positions
I remember startingmyownjourneyintryingto be better at sex. The biggest mistake I made at first was to buyone of those bigsexmanuals withover a hundred sexpositions. I evendownloaded a Kama Sutra app onmyphone. I remember beingperplexed byall the sexpositions. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” I asked myself. So I did the onlythingI could thinkof and started memorizingall the positions.
Doingthat was the biggest waste of time, and evenif a personwants to be anexpert insex, I still thinkit’s a waste of time to know all those sexpositions. The problemwithknowingall those positions is that youend up onlyusingthree of them. And as the old adage goes, “less is better.”
This is great news. It means we canfocus all of our energyonjust a few sexpositions; a lessonI had learned the hard way, because I used to tryand do tenpositions duringsex. It became apparent veryfast – usuallyfromher facial expression– that it was not the wayto go. And years later, now lookingback, I amhorrified at the material out there. And I’mespeciallypointingthe finger at high priced commercial material. The books yousee onthe shelves. For example, the Kama Sutra book, where theyteachyoua hundred positions and all youneed to know. Theyusuallyhave a fancycover and a lot of sexpictures. Now that I thinkabout it, people buythe books for the pictures only, probably.
I want youto focus ononlyfour sexpositions until youget good at makinga womanhave an orgasm. These four positions: youontop of her (missionary), doggy, her ontop of you, and her lying flat onher stomachwhile youare frombehind. Those are the onlypositions youneed. The aimof this is not to explore a lot of positions, but to get good at makingher have anorgasm. Whenyouget good at consistentlygivingwomenorgasms, youcando whatever youwant.
Side note: these four positions are for the penetrationphase, but remember to include everything
we have learned – all the necessaryforeplaybefore puttingit inside.
Whyare these four positions powerful? Because theydo a simple job: it makes it easier for youto hit her G-spot withyour dick. There is a reasonwhymost womenwill say, “Oh, I like doggy,” it’s because doggyis one of the onlypositions where youcanuse a straight-motiondickthrust and hit the G-spot. But whenyouare ontop of her, it gets trickier. That’s whenyouneed to use your hip ina certainthrust gesture to hit the top wall of her vagina. But if youknow where the G-spot is, it will be easyfor youto calibrate your thrust to grind onit. Grindingis animportant aspect of it. Youneed to be grindingonher top wall and not onlythrustingit inand out hard.
Let’s now talkabout the order of these positions. Nothingis set inrock, but youcan’t go wrong doingthese over and over againuntil youget good.
Foreplaywill always be your number one priority. Foreplaybegins before sex, carries onduring sex, and subsides after sex. Nothingis more important thanforeplay, because without it, you’ll be breakingthe most fundamental sexrule: you’ll be puttinga pizza into a cold oven. Take your time with foreplay, especiallyinthe beginning. See how longyoucanresist the urge of removingher clothes. Whenyouremove her shirt and jeans, your next goal should be to avoid touchingher private area for as longas possible. This doesn’t meanyoucan’t caress the area around it. Youshould tease her by runningyour fingers around her panties. The more she wonders: when is he going to remove it? the better youare doingyour job. Whenyouremove her panties, wait a minute or two before diving down. Kiss her onthe lips while runningyour fingers around her private area. Whenyoudo go down, it’s time to use a powerful tool: your tongue and finger. Use your tongue to stimulate her clitoris, and your finger to stimulate her G-spot inside.
Key nugget: if youstimulate verysensitive areas like the clitoris, make sure not to rub it hard or for too long. It maybecome too sensitive and turnuncomfortable for her. What youwant to do is play withit, release the tensionbykissingher legs, and thengo back. Don’t carrylickingthe same spot for
tenminutes. Switchit up.
If youdo the above, youwill find her hot and ready. The ovenwill be turned onto fiery temperature. Apatternwill emerge. The womanwill grab your shoulder and say, “Put it inside.” Whenyouget a response like that, youknow youare doinga fantastic job, and youhave the green card for entry. But “put it inside” canalso come inthe formof her breathingheavily, her lookingat youwithlustful eyes, and her constantlylickingor bitingher lips. If she tells youto put it in, then resist the urge for one more time. Tell her, “Ina second.” Take charge. Youare the man. Youwill put it inside whenyouare ready. If youhave gottenthis far, youshould be proud of yourself, because a lot of menwould have alreadypenetrated her a longtime ago.
Youare still downthere, kissingher private area. Younow she’s readyto be entered. What do you do? Youhave a choice. Youcaneither move up for penetrationor youcancarryondownthere. If you have her hot and wantingwhile beingdownthere, I would actuallyrecommend stayingthere until you’ve made her have anorgasm. I would highlyrecommend this if youhave never givena womanan orgasm, or youwant to ensure that she has one. It’s important to remember that it’s mucheasier to give a womananorgasmwhile playingwithher downthere thanit is to be inside (until youknow how to do it correctly, e.g., hip movement, grindingthe top part of her vagina). Use your middle finger and tongue to playwithher until (A) she comes, or (B) she wants youinside badly.
(B) Youontopof her.
It’s time to penetrate her. Just slide your bodyup over her until youguys are facingeachother. You are goingto slide your dickup and downher private area, somethingwomenfind extremelyerotic. Whenyouput it inside, youwill notice that it goes ineasily; a byproduct of good foreplay. Awoman needs to be turned onfor penetrationto occur smoothly. Whena manskips foreplayand rushes for
penetration, she won’t be moist downthere; it will take a little more effort to get in, and inthe process of doingso, there is a highchance of makingher uncomfortable. And if she’s uncomfortable, she’s inher head, whichis bad. We want her to be focusingonthe moment’s pleasure.
While slidinginand out, youare goingto thinkabout what youdid withyour finger, the “come- here gesture.” The easiest wayto achieve this withyour dickis to focus onyour hip drive. Don’t use your upper bodyto thrust it inside, tryand keep the upper portionof the bodystraight while onlyusing your hips. Youhave to tryyour best to avoid anystraight inand out thrusting. Because if youdo so, youwill notice that the dickjust goes indeep and thenout; it doesn’t touchthe roof, where the G-spot is. It’s better to slowlygrind inside of her thanit is to thrust hard and powerful (somethingyoucan switchup later). Youwill use the G-spot as a reference to how youshould move your hips.
Just practice, don’t worryabout it. It’s actuallyeasy, and withsome practice and awareness, you will notice how your thrustingaffects her. If you’re slowlygrindingthe top wall, youwill notice her facial reaction, youwill notice her breathingpatternchange, and she might moanmore as well. All these are reactions youshould be using. If youkeep thrustingina straight line, she might moana little, but what happens whenyoutryand change your thrustingto a certainangle, is she moaninga little louder now?
All of this will come naturallyover time. Just be aware. Don’t make a bigobvious effort. You don’t want to be so focused on: “AmI doingit right?” that youdon’t evennotice her staringat you witha blankface, thinking: is he doing some experiment?
Acardinal rule insex: youshouldalways be fully present inthe moment. If youare stuck in your head, youare away frompleasure.
Dependingonhow longyou’ve beenwiththe girl, youcanalways askher what feels good for her. It’s sucha simple question, but most mendon’t ask, because theyare afraid of hurtingtheir pride. There is nothingwronginaskinga woman, “Show me how youturnyourself on.” Whynot set a date night for: “Show me how youmake yourself have anorgasm.” Watchher playwithherself, and I guarantee youthat youwill be learninga wealthof information. Lookat what she does, and then replicate it. Youwill notice that she will be followingthe rules we’ve beendiscussing. There won’t be anyhard fingering, anysecret voodoo spells, just light caressingat sensitive spots.
Side note: I talka lot about caressinglightly. This is important. But don’t thinkyoucan’t switchit up. It’s good to focus oncaressinglightly, and thenincreasingthe pressure and firmness overtime. The reasonI stress light touchingis because most menwould automaticallyfocus onhard thrusting.
The keyto beingontop is gettingthe hip movement right, grindingthe roof, but also makingsure that youare not completelylost infocus, because if she sees younot focused or not inthe moment, she’ll be thinkinga bigred why.
(C) Her ontopof you.
You’ve beenat it ontop. Now, tell her to go ontop. The beautiful thingabout her ontop is that it’s one of the best positions for her. But there’s a thinline that if crossed, will make the positionone of the worst for her. I’ll let youknow ina second whythis is, but let’s talkabout whyit’s sucha good positionfor her.
Amanwill never know exactlyhow to please a woman’s body, and vice versa. Youare the true master of pleasuringyour ownbody. The onlycues we have come fromher facial expression, her moaning, the wayshe touches us, and what she says. She might be fakingher pleasure, and a lot of womenare good at that. But whenyoustart to give womenorgasms, youwill clearlysee the difference betweenfake pleasure and real pleasure. Youcan’t fake real pleasure. The muscles inthe face twitches, her breathingquickens, and her bodywill get a little sweatier. So whyis her beingon top sucha great position? Because the womanis infull control. Withher sittingabove, she knows exactlyhow to move her bodyaround to make it feel pleasurable for her. Youwill quicklynotice something: she is grindingbackand forth. The great news is that youdon’t have to do a single thing. The great news is that she knows exactlywhere her G-spot is, so her movements will act accordingly. I want youto notice a few things whichare important. If she’s avoidinga straight in-and-out movement, and if she’s optingto grind onyour dickina backand forthmovement, youknow she’s pleasuringher G-spot.
But I need to let youknow of a massive mistake menmake whenshe’s ontop …
Massive mistake: whenshe’s ontop, menwill still tryand fuckher. Inother words, theywill make her leanforward so that theycancarryonslidingit inand out. If youcarryondoingthis, you are turningthe best positionfor her into the worst positionfor her. The reasonfor this is simple: she is not incontrol anymore.
Rather, what youwant to do is avoid usingyour bodyat all. And I meanjust this. The best thing youcando is just lie onyour backand let her carryon. Do not move your hips. Do not move your chest. The onlypart youcanuse are your hands; eventhen, limit hand use onlyfor squeezingher breasts everyso often. Youwant her to be infull control whenontop. Let her ride you– let her do her ownthing– because she knows exactlyhow to move her bodyina waythat feels great for her.
Thinkof yourself as a frozenslab of meat. It’s your time to relax, and whywould youwant to move anyway? Amancanjust lie there and enjoythe show – no need to carryon– no need to help her. If youavoid helpingher and let her do her ownthing, she will (A) appreciate this, and (B) be well onher wayto anorgasm. Infact, if your aimis to make her have anorgasm, and you’ve been focusinga lot onforeplayand hittingthe right spots, thenyouwant her to carryonbeingontop until she comes. Dependingonher sexual experience, a womanwill appreciate a manlettingher do her ownthingontop (let her go wild, and just smile and say, “That feels nice.”) But if a womanlacks sexual experience, and if she hasn’t had manyorgasms, it might take a little workand coaxing. Let her know it’s fine to do what she wants whenontop. Tell her she cando whatever she wants and that you will just lie there. All youneed to do is control your urge to come. Control your urge to grab her and
Awomanneeds time to come. Sometimes, it canhappenextremelyquickly, other times, it canbe like waitingfor it to rainina desert. It’s also anart form, because it takes a lot of patience and awareness. For example, whenshe’s ontop, youneed to make sure she is fullyinthe moment, i.e., she needs to be focusingonthe pleasure of grindingonyou. The easiest wayto make her comfortable is to be comfortable yourself. Never start verbalizinglogic witha woman… especiallyduringsex. Don’t start askingher, “Hey, how far are youfromanorgasm?” “Hey, Sarah, what do youthinkof doggystyle?” Or evenworse, “What movie youwant to watchtonight?” It might sound a little silly, but believe me, there are menout there who askquestions like this duringsex, and thenthe woman– while ontop and nearinganorgasm– starts to thinklogically– and loses her orgasm.
Let me repeat. The best wayto make her comfortable is to be comfortable yourself. If youwant to be comfortable, youfocus onthe moment’s pleasure and stayout of your head. If youare insecure about something, chances are, she will notice. And this includes her as well. Evenif a womanis beautiful, she is still insecure about how she looks naked infront of you. Youwant to make her feel comfortable byeasingthe sexual experience.
Goldennugget: it’s your responsibilityas the manto make her feel comfortable, and it’s your duty
to lead the sexual experience.
If she’s beenontop for a while, and youthinkshe’s not goingto have anorgasm, youhave two options. Youcaneither go backontop and tryto stimulate her G-spot yourself, or if youthinkshe is nearinganorgasm, a good wayto help her is actuallygoingdownonher and usingyour finger and tongue.
Key note: if yougo downonher duringthis stage, youdon’t stroke her gentlyinside. Youcan increase the movement and firmness. It’s fine to do it now because whenthe bodyprogresses during sex, youcanbe more firmwithit.
If youdecide to go downonher withyour finger and tongue, I want youto use two fingers. (Never use more thantwo). The fingers youwill be usingnow will be your middle and ringfinger. Put it inside of her, and as before, use the come-here-gesture withbothfingers – just a little firmer.
Or youcanjust go onto the next position.
Everyone knows doggystyle. It’s not hard to do. Youflip her over onto her knees and put it infrom behind. Doggyautomaticallyhits the right spots inher, so youdon’t need to do anyhip drive. Here, youcanuse a straight inand out motion. Strangely, youwon’t make a womanhave anorgasminthis positionmost of the time. Other positions are muchbetter for that: youontop, her ontop, or youdown there playingwithher.
But don’t be fooled – womenlove this position. Menwho do it wrongwithall the other positions are redeemed withdoggy. For example, a mandoesn’t hit her G-spot whenhe is ontop, a mandoesn’t let her do her ownthingwhenshe’s ontop, or whena manis downthere and he uses the wrong fingers and gesture. But whenit comes to doggy, a mandoesn’t have to do much, just inand out.
Womenenjoybeingdirtyindoggystyle. Youhave a greencard to screw her hard frombehind. In this position, it’s better to be more aggressive thanit is to be passive. This positiongives youultimate dominance over her, and this is one of the reasons womenlike it. She is facingawayfromyou (vulnerable), and youare doingher while she is beneathyou. Get good at pullingher hair backduring doggy. The best wayto do this is to slide your fingers under her hair (get a good grip of full root hair) and pull it back. Just be careful though, youdon’t want to hurt her. Youdon’t want to grab the top part of her hair and onlya few strings. Youwant to grab the roots of the hair. Womenlove this.
Because this positioncomes naturallydirty, it’s a good place to talkdirty. While doingher, and whenyouhear her moan, youwant to be sayingthings suchas, “Youlike that, don’t you?” or “I want youto moanlouder.”
Key nugget: be sure to talkdirtyduringsex. It not onlyincreases her sexual pleasure but makes it easier for her to be inthe moment’s pleasure. The great thingabout a questionsuchas, “Youlike that, don’t you?” is that it forces her to thinkabout the feeling; therefore, it amplifies the feelingevenmore. Compare that to a logical question, “How far are youfromanorgasm?” Bythe way, never aska womanthat questionduringsex.
Avoid slappingher ass continuously, or worst case scenario, don’t slap it so hard that it hurts. It’s fine to slap her ass, but don’t keep doingit. Maybe one or two slaps. That’s all. The best wayto slap her ass is to give it a quickswipe.
Youdon’t have to do all the workduringdoggy. Let her contribute as well. All youneed to do is stop pushingit and out, and let her continue. Again, youwant to master the art of beingcompletely still withyour body. Don’t move your hips. Let her slide inand out withher butt. Tell her, “Slide in and out,” and let her do her ownthing. But youdon’t have to staystill for longinthis position; let her do her thingfor a while, and thencarryondoingdoggy. Whereas whenshe is ontop, youwant to give her a lot more time to do her ownthing.
Doggystyle is dirtier. Therefore, make sure to be more rough(pull her hair, give one or two slaps, talkdirty). Eventhoughthis positionis great and womenlove it, if youwant to give womenconsistent orgasms, thenyou’ll have better luckdoingit while ontop of her, or her ontop, or youdownonher.
(E) Youontopwhile she’s onher stomach.
Anatural progressionfromdoggyis for her to slide forward onto her stomach. This positionis great because womenlove it. She canrelaxher head ona pillow while youworkyour wayfrom
behind. Withthis position, tryand sit onher bumas if it were a seat, and thenslide it inand out ina grindinggesture. Always thinkabout her G-spot. Askyourself if your current movement inher is touchingthe top roof of her vagina. If it is, carryon. If youthinkit’s just goingina straight deep line, thenadjust. Have funwiththis position. Indoggystyle youwere dirtier, but inthis position, youcan be more sensual. For example, instead of pullingher hair backhard, youcanrunyour fingers across the backof her neck.
Mistakes to avoid
There are mistakes menmake duringor before sex. These are the mistakes.
Youwant to come ina woman’s mouth.
The great news is that the majorityof womenwon’t have a problemswallowingyour semen. If you’ve never let a womanswallow, chances are, youmight be a little uncomfortable or youmight thinkthat it’s a bit too out there. But this is nothingto worryabout. Sexinits verynature is meant to be explored. Sexis dirtyinnature. Youget sweaty, rough, and talkfoul words. Sexis not a pinkpony land where ponies singmelodies of sweet, tender love. Whenyouhave sexwitha woman, your dirty side naturallycomes out, so don’t be afraid to embrace it. Whena womanswallows your semen, it’s a veryerotic experience for her. Thinkof it as givingher anerotic experience and not as somethingto be avoided. Youalways want to pushthe boundaries of sex– don’t playit safe.
If youwant a womanto swallow, follow this goldentip: ask(tell) her duringsexand not before it. I can’t stress how important that is. Do not ever aska womanbefore sex, “Hey, want to swallow my semen?” Because chances are she’s goingto sayno or be uncomfortable. It’s 25xeasier to get her to do it duringsex. Why? Because duringsex, whenthe mind is aroused due to all the chemicals, it’s harder to make smart logical decisions, i.e., it’s mucheasier to get her to do somethingshe wouldn’t normallydo whennot aroused. Whenyouare not far fromejaculating, and she’s all hot and sweaty, yousaythis, “I want youto swallow, get ready.”
Important side note: if youare not prepared to kiss the womanafterward because youknow she’d swallowed your semen, thendon’t let her swallow inthe first place. Either change your belief or skip the whole process, because if youexpect her to swallow, thenyoushould have no problem kissingher afterward.
This is a preference thing. I’ve had anal sexbefore and didn’t like it; it’s not mything. But I do want to give youa few tips if this is somethingyouare interested in. The vagina lubes itself – the anus does not. Therefore, youneed to make sure youare NOT usingyour spit as lube, but a reliable lube youcanbuyfrommost stores. Make sure youuse a lot of lube around the area because the anus does not lubricate itself and needs it. If youskip the lube process, there is a 99.9% chance youare goingto hurt her; it’s goingto feel extremelyuncomfortable. One other tip I want to give youis the same one as above: if youwant a womanto do somethingdirty, it’s better to askher duringsexand not before it. Better yet, tell her duringsexand don’t askher.
Switching upyour sex experience.
One of the biggest mistakes menmake is that theydon’t keep their sexlife fresh. Theykeep doing the same thingover and over. Youkeep havingsexis the same place. Youkeep doingthe same positions inthe same order. Youkeep things the same intensityduringsex, i.e., youare always passive and not pushingthe boundaries. The first time youhave sexwitha woman, youwant to be more rough. Afew weeks later, youcanswitchfrombeingroughto more sensual duringsex. Instead of poundingher, take your time and be slow. Other nights be romantic duringsex. Other nights catch her off-guard and be roughagain. The keyis be spontaneous. Don’t do the same thingover and over – that breeds boredom. Get creative.
Living ina cave as a troll.
Youdon’t need to have a super fantastic house. Youdon’t need to have a luxurious bedroom. But the bedroomis the place where the lightninghappens, so it does need to be decentlygroomed. If there is a flickeringlight above the bed, white strobe lights, sheets that smell like urine, and a dogbarking inyour closet, thendon’t be surprised if she fakes anorgasmunder one minute. Womenlove the small things – candles, a nice smellingroom, and a dimlit room. But remember, the first time youhave sex witha woman, keep all the romantic stuff away. Romantic stuff cancome later. It’s time to be dirtyfor now.
Bring her dirty side out.
Be the manshe’s dirtywith. Womenare explosivelysexual. If youcanshow her a good time duringsex(youdon’t need to be a guru) and make her do stuff she wouldn’t normallydo, thenyou’ll be bringingher dirtyside out. It’s your responsibilityas the leader inthe bedroomto do just that. Don’t expect her to do everything. Youhave to tell her what youlike. Youhave to tell her what positionis next. If youare too passive duringsex, afraid or insecure, and don’t pushthe dirtiness, you’re not performingwell. Awomanwill appreciate a manwho tells her to be dirtier duringsex. Not, “Hey, Sarah, what positiondo youwant to do next?”
Remove all sex toys.
This is a bigone. I want youto stayawayfromALLsextoys until youcanconsistentlygive her an orgasmonyour own. This means no more vibrators, no more butt plugs, and no more anythinghuman made. Awomanwill always choose her fingers over a dildo. Worst case scenario, a manrelies ona vibrator to please a woman. If youare doingthis, youare runningondangerous territory. If the womanis sexuallysavvy, she’ll be thinkingwhy. And it’s 20xmore pleasurable for her if youuse your fingers, dick, and tongue, anyway. Youalreadyhave all the tools youneed. Youdon’t need anythingelse. Again, get good at givingwomenorgasms without tools. Whenyouachieve this – then maybe – youcanintroduce other means of enjoyment.
Try your best but don’t sweat it.
The ironyis, the harder youtryto make her come, the more youpushher away. Makingher have an
orgasmis a cocktail of perseverance and beingeffortless. If she catches onthat youare tryingyour best to make her have anorgasm, she won’t have it. She’ll put too muchstress onherself to actually achieve it. She’ll therefore be too muchinher ownlogical mind, and as we have learned, it’s keythat she’s inthe moment’s pleasure and not inher mind. Youneed to act like makingher have anorgasmis nothing. Don’t evenmentionit. Just use the tools we have discussed and let sexprogress naturally. If she has anorgasm– great. If she doesn’t have one – don’t sweat it. There is always another day. If, duringsex, youhave beentryingfor a while and it looks like she isn’t goingto have anorgasm, just come yourself. And never, ever get frustrated. The worst thingyoucando is tell her, “I’mfrustrated. I wishI could make youcome.” Also, before I end this chapter, I want to reiterate something. Never aska womanhow far she is fromanorgasm. The act of askingis pushingher further awayfromit. Use her bodyas anindicator.
I want to applaud youfor tryingto make your sexlife better. Youare inthe top 5% of menwho know deep inside that sexis somethingyoucanimprove. I want youto feel proud of yourself because youare not onlytryingto improve yourself, youare improvingyourself so that youcangive more pleasure to another humanbeing. I believe witha few adjustments youcanbe great at sex. You alreadyhave all the tools youneed. Sexis not rocket science. Youdon’t need 10, 000 hours of experience to be a master. Remember, foreplayis key. Master the art of stimulatingher G-spot and clitoris. Master the art of simple positions. Master the art of pleasuringher without anytoys. But, I have a confessionto make … I’ve beenkeepingthe most important thingfromyou. I’mafraid that if youdon’t know this, everythingyou’ve read this far won’t workat all. So, here is the bigsecret: remember to have fun.
About the author
For a longand painful time, JimmyMeelsigthought sexwas somethingthat came naturallyto men. He grew up ina small towninEngland, LeamingtonSpa, where talkingto womenand havingsuccess
withthemwas somethingof a disaster. The first time he lost his virginity, the womanasked him duringsexif he was new to it. Whenhe finallyhad a girlfriend, she cheated onhimnot longafter because he was bad inbed and lacked the social skills needed for a successful relationship. All this painand frustrationled Jimmyto masteringthe art of talkingto womanand pleasingtheminbed. He wants nothingmore inlife thanto help others succeed withwomenas well (inside or outside the
Hey, it’s Jimmy. Thankyoufor readingthis book. Please help a brother out byleavinga review on Amazonfor this bookand lettingeveryone know what youthought about it. Peace and strength,
Check out my other book:
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