Caitlin Wynters , GOLDIE-BASED Andi , Caprice,model Citizens,nude , celebrities, People Australia, 29 February , 14 March, 2016
AUTUMN’S here and we don’t give a flying fox! OK, that’s not entirely true – we’ll BLOODY MISS summer now it’s gone. Getting pissed under the hot sun is one of life’s great pleasures, especially if you’re in the company of a gorgeous British brunette sporting lovely lady-lumps! Like Caitlin Wynters, who explains exactly what it’s like to hang out with her in warmer climes. “We’ll be drinking and having loads of fun in the sun: she laughs. “Wine, champagne and the occasional margarita…if you’re lucky enough to still be with me in the morning, just bring me a mimosa and I’m all yours.” Oh yes, morning cocktails are the best, especially in bed – in the nude – before we get dressed and drive to work. Caitlin feels us – not literally, but the part about enjoying being starkers. “I’m always parading in front of my windows with next to nothing on. Or get out of the
THE weather is warm, the sun is shining, the waves are high and the chicks are COMPLETELY FUCKING STARKERS! We’re stoked — it’s a perfect day for duck dives (or turtle rolls), bottom turns, snaps, cutbacks, floaters and aerials. But wait! The waves have gone flat, that joint you handed us is more parsley than weed and a shark just ate our feet. Fuck this, we’re paddling to shore to chat to the cossie-free surfin’ sirens. Hopefully they’ll ask for a closer look at our CLASSIC AUSSIE THRUSTERS. Totally tubular, dude!
, 25, ticks all of our boxes. Female? Tick. Breathing? Tick. If that wasn’t enough, she’s blessed with the luck of the Swedish — to be a BEE-YOOTIFUL, honey-haired, impossibly tall goddess. When we found out Andi’s also a masseuse, we blew our stacks and got on the blower immediately for all the juicy details!
WHAT made you choose such a hands-on career? “I have mad skills…I know how to make people feel more relaxed and relieve tension.” Do all your massages have an… ahem, happy ending? “Ha! A massage from me is happy from start to finish! But, sure, if the guy’s willing to pay a bit extra, then I’ll finish things off with a flourish. My magical fingers aren’t just limited to great back rubs, but also amazing handjobs!” What kind of blokes do you go for? Swedish male models? “Actually. I’m attracted to men who are different and a bit exotic…who have flaws and quirks. Often, that’s not someone who’s what you’d call typically good-looking.” More like a fat cunt who works for Oz’s leading men’s mag? -Sure, why not? I recently had a fling with an older guy who was )
IF WE won Keno, the first thing we’d do is stuff our favourite yellow budgie smugglers into a suitcase and make our way to Caprice’s doorstep in Adelaide. We’d then spend the rest of our lives rooting madly in EVERY outdoor place we can think of…especially the beautiful beaches that the City Of Churches has to offer.
IT’S a good thing you’re naked. No tan lines! “As long as they’re tan lines and not BURN LINES, then I think it’s sexy! It shows a girl loves her outdoor activities — like having sex on the sand. But yeah…there’s nothing hotter than a woman in her birthday suit while water trickles down her bare breasts and buttocks. And it costs nothing. Full•body tan guaranteed!” What do you think of budgie smugglers, Caprice? “What’s not to love about them? And the bigger the man’s balls the better! It just makes me want to grab and squish them.” Go right ahead! Speaking of HEAD …how would you give it on the water’s edge? “I’d have the guy on his back and me on all fours, twisting my tongue slowly around his knob while I tickle his balls. I never met a man who didn’t enjoy it — it drives them wild and he’s sure to buy a nice dinner afterwards.”
‘THE BIGGER A mon BALLS THE BETTER’
Only after a spot of doggy, oh? “Doggy’s great when I’m feeling lazy. Otherwise reverse cowgirl is my ultimate favourite. I can do a 360° twist on a dick — hands-free! It’s like the Wild West? Have you ever tasted your own pussy juice? “What girl hasn’t? My pussy juice tastes like strawberries and cream.” Are you big on arvo BBQS? We’d like to see you eat sausage. “Sucking on a sanga while pretending it’s a penis is my BEST party trick. Especially when it gets lost down my throat…” S